How To Mom Like Beyoncé

JoAnna Illingworth

Let’s face it. Being a mom is an insane roller coaster ride that starts with a dramatic, clackity climb to a too-high peak, then whooshes down into twisty spirals and stomach-churning loops so scary you’ll scream for (at least) eighteen years.

But it’s also the best ride. At every twist and turn, your heart bursts with love for your tiny person. It’s why we work so hard to be the best moms we can be. It’s also why we look to the experts for the ultimate “How To” on being a great mom.

In times like these, there’s no better expert to mirror than feminist icon and beacon of light, Beyoncé.

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We know the first rule of mom-hood is to love our wee ones with our whole hearts. That’s easy. The second rule is to feed and clothe them. That doesn’t mean heading to the Cat & Jack section at Target and getting as many graphic tees as your REDcard will allow. That’s what a regular mom would do, but you’re not a regular mom, you’re a Beyoncé mom. You will be dressing your mini-me in matchy-matchy couture denim. It’s never too early to teach your tiny queen the importance of custom-made clothing. “But I have a son,” you cry. Ask yourself, would that stop Beyoncé? The answer is no.

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Once the clothes are handled, it’s important to fill her days with curated activities to stimulate her tiny brain. After all, you’re here to raise a strong, confident woman ready to take on the world and smash the patriarchy! Take a page from the Beyoncé Book of Mom and cast your tiny tot in a music video. It’s vital to introduce a love for the arts at an early age. Being in a music video will not only teach her about creativity and a strong work ethic, it will also inform her about the trappings of the music business. It’s best she learn straight from you about getting that paper for herself.  

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Family time is so important for your growing nugget. Quality moments together help a child soak in the attention and love she craves. A fun family activity, like sitting together on the front row of the GRAMMYs, is great for bonding. You can snack on popcorn and mineral water while teaching your little songstress about the value of making great art over winning silly awards. Bonus Beyoncé mom points if your family is featured in the live telecast.

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Another important milestone for your sweet babe is facing fears. Public speaking is said to be the number one fear in today’s society. (We think sharks should rank higher, but that argument is for another day.) For a great teaching moment, consider scheduling a performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. It’s a great way to show your honey bunny that anyone can speak and perform in front of an audience, even Mommy! To reinforce this moment, bring your angel up on stage so she can feel the heat of the spotlights and a million judging eyes. It’s a character building activity she won’t soon forget.

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“Listen,” you might be saying, “This all sounds great but I’m not Beyoncé. I can’t do any of these things.” To that we say...would Beyoncé let not being Beyoncé stop her from being Beyoncé? You know the answer and the answer is no.

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Besides, being a Beyoncé mom isn’t about money or fame or a private yacht on the French Riviera. It’s about being the most loving, the most fabulous, the most audacious mom to ever mom. And that’s something we’re sure you can do.

JoAnna Illingworth is equal parts writer and fangirl. Follow her on Twitter @glamorousjo